10 Ways to help your child identify and express their emotions

Supporting our children’s emotional well-being is one of the most important things we can do as parents. At The Firs School, Chester, we believe that education goes beyond academics—it’s about equipping children with the skills they need to thrive in life  and a key part of this is helping them understand and express their emotions in a healthy way.

The Firs’ headmaster, Mr David Girvan shares his top tips for nurturing young minds:

1.         Create a Safe and Supportive Environment

Children need to feel safe to express their feelings openly, so let them know that all emotions are valid and encourage them to talk without fear of judgment. It’s not about expecting perfection, it’s about supporting children as they grow and develop into happy, confident individuals, ensuring children know it’s always okay to talk about their feelings. Make sure your child knows who the safe people are to speak to, whether that’s peers or adults. And you could set up a regular ‘check-in’ time where your child can share how they are feeling. During bedtime or after school are good times.

2.         Use Age-Appropriate Language

Help your child understand their emotions by using simple and clear language. Books that describe emotions (The Colour Monster by Anna Llenas is a good one), drawings (great for younger children) or using Mood Mats for younger children, and role-playing, acting out different emotions using facial expressions, for example can be great tools. We also introduce therapy animals, like Thomas the therapy dog, to help children express their emotions in non-verbal ways when words feel difficult.

3.         Encourage Open Communication

Create regular opportunities for your child to talk about their feelings. Whether it’s at bedtime, during a car journey (children often open up when they aren’t in direct eye contact), or around the dinner table, make space for open and honest conversations. You can also turn one of their teddy’s into a ‘Worry Monster’ for them to tell their concerns to. Whatever the vehicle, it’s important to introduce ways that children can comfortably raise any issues they’d like to speak to you about, for example, another idea is that you could set up a ‘feelings jar’ where children can write or draw how they feel and place inside for discussion later.

4.         Model Emotional Expression

Children learn by example. Show them how to express emotions in a healthy way by talking about your own feelings. Whether it’s explaining why you’re frustrated in traffic or sharing your excitement about a fun event, demonstrating emotional awareness helps children feel more comfortable doing the same. So, if you feel frustrated say, “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a deep breath.” This way your child sees how you solve problems calmly, so they can learn that emotions can be managed.

5.         Teach Emotional Vocabulary

Give your child the words to describe their emotions. Instead of just saying they feel ‘bad,’ help them identify if they’re feeling sad, frustrated, or disappointed. A feelings chart is great for this, with different words and expressions to help your child’s name what they are feeling. The more specific their vocabulary, the better they can express what’s on their mind.

6.         Validate Their Feelings

Let your child know their emotions are understood and accepted. This is super important. Acknowledge their experiences by saying things like, “I can see you’re disappointed we ran out of biscuits—I feel the same way too.” Even if it is something small, acknowledge the emotion first before problem-solving. This simple act reassures them that their feelings are natural. And when a friend or sibling is upset, encourage them to respond with kindness, asking “how do you think they feel?”

7.         Teach Coping Strategies

Help your child develop healthy ways to manage big emotions. Deep breathing exercises (for example the ‘birthday candle’ technique, which is smell the cake, blow out the candle), movement breaks (a short walk or some jumping jacks), or creative activities, maybe even a calm-down corner with cushions, books and sensory items, can all be effective. At The Firs, we incorporate outdoor learning to promote mental well-being, with dedicated Forest School sessions allowing children to explore and reset in nature. Finding what works for your child is key, so experiment with different strategies together.

8.         Encourage Empathy

Understanding their own emotions helps children recognise and respect feelings in others, so take the opportunity to talk about how others might be feeling in different situations and encourage acts of kindness. This not only builds emotional intelligence but also strengthens social skills and friendships. And don’t forget to praise them when they show kindness.

9.         Be Patient and Supportive

It takes time for children to understand and express their emotions. If they have an outburst, ask yourself, what is my child really trying to say? Often, tantrums stem from frustration, overwhelm, or disappointment. If they shut down, reassure them; “You don’t have to talk right now, but I’m here when you are ready.” By helping them put words to their feelings, you’ll support them in learning to manage emotions constructively.

10.   Seek Additional Support When Needed

If your child struggles with identifying or managing emotions, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. At The Firs, we acknowledge that we are educating our children in partnership with their family, which means that any concerns in these areas are dealt with effectively at home and at school. Talk to your child's class teacher or your school learning mentor and they can help to point you in the right direction. Be that through small interventions at home (using programs such as Cosmic Yoga or Headspace for Kids), at school with learning mentor sessions and support from the class teacher or the help of professionals when these situations present themselves. And always remind them that talking about feelings is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Helping children navigate their emotions is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. By providing them with the tools to understand and express their feelings, we set them up for a future of healthy relationships, strong self-esteem, and better overall mental well-being.